McGoo Outlines Economic Plan: Much revealed in Stump Speech

Acting as interim spokesperson for canine mayoral candidate Macy McGoo, Charlie Cooper stepped up to the straw podium and let loose with an old-school oratory. His was one of several rousing stump speeches during a “Meet the Candidates” event sponsored by the Rabbit Hash Historical Society. With the the sun setting against a shimmering Ohio River and hundreds of townsfolk and media looking on, Cooper outlined a bold vision to goose the local economy and remediate casino blight from across the river in Rising Sun, Indiana. The mostly Lucy Lou-partisan crowd was respectful yet unimpressed. Off camera, McGoo (again speaking through Cooper) insisted "the answers that will carry Rabbit Hash into the 21st century are staring us in the face… we simply need to open our eyes and drop our britches." She went on to identify the resident talent and abundant resources that would serve as a cultural and economic catalyst.

An Idyllic Beachfront Location & Expressive Population
One McGoo proposal (called "Blue Moon of Kentucky") is to resurrect the Rabbit Hash Yacht Club and clear an adjacent stretch of beach for nude bathing. The change would boost the economy by reopening the commercial center to disenfranchised boaters and nude bathers -- and provide opportunities for cross-border communication. With McGoo's tail whipping wildly in a circular motion -- a sign of cornered prey -- Cooper posed and answered his own question… "What was the best scene in the movie Braveheart? [lengthy pause] It was when the Scottish hillbilly warriors lined up across the battlefield and raised their kilts in unison to the invading English troops. We could do that here EVERY day of the year.”

McGoo, an American-bred Ibizan Hound, offered a modern precedent to support her proposal; a rural island off of the southern coast of Spain was facing a similar dilemma of maintaining its agrarian identity in the face of global pressures. It now plays host to some of the most exclusive yacht clubs and nude beaches along the Caribbean. The island, Ibiza, is the ancestral home of the Ibizan Hound. With hands open, Cooper insists that his candidate is the only one with the imagination, multi-generational experience and connections to make this type of project successful.

Days of Zero Sum Foreign Policies Over
While the McGoo economic advisers busy themselves on a plan to monetize the operation, their preliminary data indicates “Blue Moon of Kentucky” could attract thousands of folk from across Kentucky and Ohio. Their research also projects increased Hoosier tourism for Rising Sun. Cooper went on to say that “the days of zero-sum planning are over -- nobody has to lose in order for Rabbit Hash to win”. He suggest further that a McGoo Administration will apply this principle aggressively to foreign and domestic policy, revealing “Candidate McGoo has already reached out to Rising Sun’s Mayor Bill Marksberry and Economic Development Coordinator James Kinnett to discuss Blue Moon and other proposals that promote regional cooperation.” One such project, chronicled earlier in the year by the Rabbit Hash Blog is the Tim Hortons coffee pipeline that links the west-bank Grand Victoria Casino to the Rabbit Hash General Store.

Broader Political Coalition on the Horizon
The Rabbit Hash-Mastodon Corridor News reported on Sunday that another top mayoral candidate may also back the Blue Moon proposal. Anonymous sources say they are referring to Higgins, the jack ass. Higgins was on a prolonged political junket with Washington fat-cats and could not be reached for comment on the McGoo announcement. However, his Campaign Manager Don Claire responded “there’s nothing new here… Higgins was way ahead of this curve promoting his bare ass to the Hoosier population for years. This is just another stunt by some opportunistic carpetbagging bitch to steal the spotlight”.